Trust Dialogue Team-Building Exercise

Trust Dialogue Team-Building Exercise for Increasing & Sustaining Teammate Trust

The goal of this real-world – Trust Dialogue Team-Building Exercise – is to increase and sustain teammates’ trust in one another.

It is an effective and impactful exercise. I recommend that an experienced facilitator lead this exercise because there is a slight risk it could upset teammate relationships rather than improve them.

But I assure you when it is set up correctly, and teammates are emotionally and psychologically ready, this one-on-one breakout exercise, conducted in an all-hands team meeting, will become one of the best team-building exercises you have ever attended.

You will find all you need in this article to know how to set up and facilitate this workshop.

Here is what you will find in this article.

Trust Dialogue Exercise: Outline & Process

Team Announcement & Preparation Meeting

Facilitating Trust Dialogue Workshop

Trust Dialogue Outline & Process

At least one week before the exercise workshop, the team leader and facilitator will conduct a Teammate Announcement and Preparation Meeting.

• There you will discuss YOUR team’s benefits of increasing and sustaining teammate trust.
• You will discuss and agree on the desired outcome for the exercise. See a typical Agenda below.
• Everyone will agree that all teammates will attend and complete their individual Teammate Trust Dialogue Preparation Worksheet before the workshop.
• Teammates understand that their dialogues will be conducted in pairs and teammates agree to communicate their thoughts and feelings compassionately. Additionally, the dialogues will likely result in individual or team Work Agreements.
• Ideally, every teammate will conduct a trust-building dialogue with every other teammate, but it may not be logistically practical in a single workshop.
• The team leader will decide before the workshop if the teammates are to complete the worksheet on all teammates or narrow it down to specific teammate pairs. If the latter option is chosen, teammates will agree to meet another time to ensure all teammates conduct the trust dialogue.

Teammate Announcement and Preparation Meeting

The team leader and facilitator will co-lead this meeting at least one week before the workshop. They will present and discuss most if not all of the following.

• Discuss the benefits of increasing and sustaining teammate trust in your team and why the leader decided to use this exercise and facilitator.
• Present, clarify, and gain agreement that all teammates are committed to achieving this improved trust desired outcome.
• Go over how teammates will communicate their thoughts and feelings in their teammate dialogues.
• Remind teammates how they are to effectively describe trusting behaviors and encourage them to use those behaviors as building blocks for individual or team Work Agreements.

• Next, teammates will be instructed on how to complete the Teammate Trust Dialogue Preparation Worksheet. See below.
• Each teammate will create a worksheet for every teammate.
• In this preparation meeting, the team leader will facilitate a short discussion as to what the words “candid,” “listening,” and “partnering” mean. These words and concepts are used in the worksheet and the trust dialogue itself.
• During the workshop in a private dialogue, you will share your worksheet information with your teammate partner.
• Teammates will break out into pairs, ideally sitting face to face.
• One person will share their Trust Dialogue Worksheet information. Clarifying questions will be asked. Understandings will be reached. Both teammates will create any needed Work Agreement(s). This dialogue will take about 15 – 20 minutes.
• Next, the second teammate shares their Trust Dialogue Worksheet and repeats the process. Once again, both teammates discuss and create Agreements.
• One round is completed when both teammates have finished their dialogue. It can take as little as 30 minutes to complete one round. Don’t rush. But you don’t need to talk for an hour.
• After each round, teammates switch partners, then begin the next round.

Team Leader and Facilitator Statements

Here are several sample statements the team leader and facilitator might say during the preparation meeting.

• All of us need and want to trust one another because we work better together when we trust each other. This exercise will help us increase and sustain our mutual trust.
• We will be conducting one-on-one dialogues in an all-hands team workshop on [date]. In those dialogues, you will discuss and agree on how you and your teammates will increase or sustain trust in one another.
• The discussion will result in a greater understanding of one another and may result in an individual Work Agreement between two team members or even a team Work Agreement.

Trust & Behavior

• Trust comes from our judgment.
• We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their behaviors. In this exercise, we will share our intentions and describe behaviors in one-on-one dialogues.
• REMEMBER: Be sure you effectively describe work behaviors and not attitudes.
• A BEHAVIOR is something you SEE someone do or HEAR what someone says. It is also what they do NOT DO or do NOT SAY.
• An attitude is a judgment. It is not a behavior. However, you may choose to describe a behavior and then say it leads to you a specific attitude or judgment.
• Here is a positive and a negative example.
  • When I arrive at work, you always say hello and ask me how I am doing. You are a really nice person. The “hello” is the behavior and the “nice person” is the attitude or judgment.
  • Yesterday, when we were discussing XXX, you raised your voice and you pointed your finger at me, and said, “stop talking!” You really need to control your anger. The behaviors were “raising your voice” and saying “stop talking.” The “control your anger” statement is a judgemental attitude.
  • The last statement is actually an attack. We will not make a statement like this in our trust dialogue workshop.
  • Instead, you can say something like this: Yesterday, when we were discussing XXX, you raised your voice and you pointed your finger at me and said: “stop talking.” Maybe I was talking too much, and, I think you would agree that raising our voices and pointing fingers will not resolve our conflict or improve trust. Can we find a new way to discuss issues like this in the future?

Teammate Preparation

• We must come prepared for this exercise. Here is the Trust Dialogue Worksheet. [See Below]. Before the workshop, complete the worksheet on all teammates (or a select sub-group of specific teammates).
• On the worksheet, you will see three criteria for trust: candidness, listening and partnering.
• Being candid means, we are straightforward, forthcoming, and impartial, without pretense or prejudice. It also means we are willing to say we were wrong, which demonstrates our willingness to admit mistakes or errors in judgment or interpretation.
• Listening means tuning in with our whole body and being intentionally emphatic. Listening well is often indicated by rephrasing and reflecting the speaker’s ideas, comments, or feelings back to them. One of the most precious gifts we can give one another is the gift of being heard.
• Partnering happens when team members feel genuinely supported and encouraged by their teammates. Partnering allows team members to make mistakes and learn from them.

• If we become less candid, don’t listen, or distance ourselves from a teammate (not partnering), we lose trust in one another. This Trust Dialogue Exercise will help us avoid these damaging behaviors as we create more collaborative trust within our team.
• If we do this exercise well, do you (the team) believe we will improve our trust? And, are you willing to do your part as best you can?
• Typically, team members all say yes to both questions. Their verbal buy-in helps create accountability.

Teammate Trust Dialogue Preparation Worksheet

Instructions: Unless otherwise instructed, create one worksheet for every teammate.

My Teammate Partner: _______________________              Date: ____________

My Name: _______________________                        

You are ____% candid in your communications with me.  

I feel ____% listened to by you when we speak.

I feel ____% partnered with you when we interact.

My Request of my teammate partner:

I would be better able or more willing to increase my trust with you if you would (do more / do less / stop/start) this behavior(s):

I will also (do more / do less / stop/start) this behavior(s) so as to increase my trust:  

Our Work Agreement:

My teammate partner and I agree to (do more / do less /  stop / start) this behavior(s):      

My teammate partner and I agree that if we do this well, we will increase our trust in one another.    

Facilitating Trust Dialogue Workshop

Team Leader and Facilitator Statements

Here are several comments the leader and facilitator could share at the beginning of the workshop.

• The dialogues you have today will help our team increase and sustain trust. 
• Your dialogues will increase your understanding of one another and will result in new Work Agreements.
• When you say to your teammate that you could increase your trust in them if they did this or that, be sure to describe behaviors and not attitudes and also to ask if they would be willing to honor your request.
  • If they say yes, you must allow them to ask you clarifying questions.
• No matter what, do not get defensive. Use reflective listening such as saying, “So what I hear you saying is…. Did I get it right?”

Trust & Behavior

• Trust comes from our judgment.
• We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their behaviors. In this exercise, we will share our intentions and describe our behaviors in one-on-one dialogues.
• REMEMBER: Be sure you effectively describe work behaviors and not attitudes.
• A BEHAVIOR is something you SEE someone do or HEAR what someone says. It is also what they do NOT DO or do NOT SAY.
• An attitude is a judgment. It is not a behavior. However, you may choose to describe a behavior and then say it leads to you a specific attitude.
• Here is a positive and a negative example.
  • When I arrive at work, you always say hello and ask me how I am doing. You are a really nice person. The “hello” is the behavior and the “nice person” is the attitude or judgment.
  • Yesterday, when we were discussing XXX, you raised your voice and you pointed your finger at me, and said, “stop talking!” You really need to control your anger. The behaviors were “raising your voice” and saying “stop talking.” The “control your anger” statement is a judgemental attitude.
  • The last statement is actually an attack. We will not make a statement like this in our trust dialogue workshop.
  • Instead, you can say something like this: Yesterday, when we were discussing XXX, you raised your voice and you pointed your finger at me and said: “stop talking.” Maybe I was talking too much, and, I think you would agree that raising our voices and pointing fingers will not resolve our conflict or improve trust. Can we find a new way to discuss issues like this in the future?

Advocate, Inquire/Ask, Disagree

Here are some additional phrases you may use to help create a positive trust dialogue between yourselves.

To Advocate for something, say

• Here’s what I’m thinking and how I got there…  
• Some of the assumptions I’ve made are…  
• I reached the conclusion I did because…  
• Here’s who will be affected by my request, how they will be affected, and why…

To Inquire or Ask, say

• What data are you using to reach that conclusion?  
• What’s leading you to make that conclusion?  
• What would this mean to…?  
• Can you give me an example?

When you Disagree, say

• Tell me again how you came to believe this point of view.  
• Are you using any data I may not have considered?  
• Am I understanding correctly what you’re saying…?  
• I’m having difficulty with “X”, because of this reasoning…  

Trust Dialogue Meeting Agenda

Desired Outcome: Building Teammate Trust

Agenda

• Kick-off: Agree on the Desired Outcome
• Dialogue Instructions & Group Discussion
• Breakout in pairs for Round #1
• Breakout for Round #2
• Round #3
• Reconvene & Debrief as a full team
• Close

Get Started with Trust Dialogue Team-Building Exercise

Print this page and start applying this real-world team-building exercise in your team today.

And PLEASE, contact me if you have any questions.

To Your Success, Dan Hogan